The Cat

Fact File

Species: Felis catus

Size: 8 inches long

Weapons: Climbing, stealth, poop

Weaknesses: Unknown

Favorite hobbies: Annoying others, pooping, annoying others by pooping

Special skills: Quantum transmogrification

Pet peeves: Old Vietnamese men named Trac

Description

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This cat can get super annoying. It seems cute at first, sure—but the next thing you know, it's pooped on your face. The cat was originally a dog but was mysteriously transformed. Something to do with Vietnamese new year or magic or something.

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A man named Trac fell victim to this feline's mischief when it climbed atop his face and took a big 'ol dump. It wasn't pretty.